I struggled with what to write this week. I’m having one of those weeks where self-care feels more like survival than a gentle luxury. I have plenty of more “professional” topics in my blog idea queue—but the truth is, I don’t have much capacity for writing about anything other than right where I am today. So instead, I’m sharing what self care can look like when you’re overwhelmed, in hopes that my process might support you on the hard days, too.
We’re dealing with septic tank issues at my house, and it turns out we’ll probably need to replace the septic field lines (a term I wish I hadn’t recently learned!). It’s an expensive, disruptive repair. We discovered the issue on the Thursday night before Memorial Day weekend, and when the plumber came on Friday afternoon, we were told we’d need a permit before work could even begin. The permit process takes at least five days—not counting weekends or holidays. And there’s a lot of rain in the forecast, which slows down the repair process.
So here we are, in a holding pattern for at least the next week or two. In the meantime, we can’t drain water in our house. My kids are showering at friends’ homes. We’re washing dishes in buckets. I won’t even get into the bathroom situation!
Of course, things could be much worse and some people live without running water year round. But practicing self care when we’re overwhelmed starts with validating our real experience. It’s okay to honor our real overwhelm without comparing or justify it, even if our problems are not catastrophic. This is self-compassion.
Feeling Under-Resourced and Emotionally Burned Out
I tend to be a pretty optimistic and adaptable person, but this situation has me feeling pretty depleted. On top of the septic issue, I woke up on Saturday with allergy symptoms, and not feeling well made everything feel even heavier. I feel overwhelmed by the extra effort that now goes into anything that requires water going down the drain. And I feel disappointed about having to spend so much money on something that is necessary for maintenance but not fun or enriching.
What helps you feel even a little more grounded when life feels like too much?
On Friday, I went for a long walk in the woods and let myself go to bed early. I noticed my usual coping wasn’t helping as much as it usually does. So on Saturday, I intentionally lowered the bar in terms of self-expectations.
I stayed in bed longer than usual. I usually try to catch up on chores when I’m home on weekends, but I softened my expectations, especially because everything seemed harder with the water situation. Instead, I did a few light tasks in the garden and around the house—nothing too physical, since showers aren’t exactly convenient right now.
Coping With Overwhelm by Tuning Inward
When you’re overwhelmed and under-resourced, one of the best forms of emotional self-care is turning inward and attuning to your inner needs.
Throughout the day, I asked my inner self questions like:
- What feels most doable right now?
- What do I really need right now?
- What might help?
I had some errands to run but didn’t want to expend the extra energy. Part of me wanted to connect with friends, but another part just wasn’t up for it. I honored that.
Instead, I made a long gratitude list. To be honest, it helped a little—but it wasn’t a magic fix. I drank hot tea, which soothed my throat and allergy symptoms. I sat outside and caught up on an online training and prepared simple, nutritious meals.
What would it look like to go easier on yourself today?
These small acts of self-care don’t always make everything better—but they make things more bearable.
Building a Self-Care Toolkit for Hard Days
The point is, we all have hard days sometimes. What helps is learning to:
- Recognize when you’re struggling and give yourself permission to have needs. It’s tempting to push through and make yourself stick to the plan or routine. But sometimes, the kindest thing is to pause and pivot.
- Tune in and ask: How can I support myself right now? Try not to answer this question from the habitual mind but from the deeper felt experience and inner knowing.
- Reach for coping strategies. Even if they’re not instant fixes, they can help you move through emotional burnout with more steadiness and compassion. And building up your coping toolkit for the days you’re overwhelmed makes a real difference.
- Practice self-care again and again—especially when you’re overwhelmed. These aren’t one-time fixes, but lifelong skills to develop and return to again and again.
A Gentle Invitation: What Would Help Right Now?
If you’re feeling under-resourced, you’re not alone. Whether it’s emotional burnout, external stress, or just a tough season, self-care when you’re overwhelmed matters more than ever.
These small moments of kindness—lowering the bar when we need to, checking in with ourselves, choosing rest—make a difference. They may not fix the problem, but they help us show up for ourselves when we most need it.
Want support?
If you’re looking to build your own coping toolkit for hard days, I offer therapy intensives and one-on-one sessions in Georgia focused on nervous system support, boundaries, and emotional resilience. Contact me to schedule a free consultation.