mindfulness Archives - Christina Russell, LPC

Do you ever push yourself to finish something—even when your nervous system is clearly asking for a break?

Nervous system regulation is one of the most powerful tools we have to prevent burnout (not to mention improve our quality of life in general!). Learning to attune to your body’s signals and respond with care is a key part of self-regulation.

That said, learning to attune to the body’s signals doesn’t always come easily—especially when we’ve developed strong habits of overriding them. I have parts of me that are really good at digging in and pushing through—whether it’s writing a blog post, cleaning out my closet, or getting through a tough workout. These parts help us finish things and can bring a sense of accomplishment. In many ways, they serve us well.

My “push through” part has held a lot of power in my internal system for most of my life. And I know I’m not alone—our culture celebrates and reinforces this behavior constantly. We’re praised for productivity, grit, and getting things done.

But at what cost?

Listening to My Nervous System: A New Way to Work and Rest

Recently, I’ve been working on rewiring this dynamic within myself—and it’s feeling really satisfying and empowering. It’s like I’ve discovered a secret no one ever told me: taking a break before I think I need one.

I think this is especially important for perfectionists and high achievers, who tend to push themselves beyond their limits.

In the past, I’d often wait to stop when I was exhausted, frazzled, or overwhelmed before giving myself permission to stop. Now, I’m experimenting with pausing earlier—and I’m finding it subtly life changing. In the long run, I find it preserves both my energy and my time.

For example, I was recently cleaning out my closet—exchanging winter and summer clothes, donating things I no longer wear. It’s a messy, multi-hour process that can feel overstimulating. My “pusher” part wanted to plow through to the end, especially since there were clothes covering my entire bed.

Your nervous system is always communicating. Are you listening?

But because of the intentional work I’ve been doing around nervous system regulation and honoring what feels good (or at least less depleting), I let myself take more breaks—and sooner than my inner taskmaster would usually allow. I still didn’t love the task, but I got through it with less overwhelm.

Taking a break can be counterintuitive, especially to those push-through and just-get-it-done parts. But a short, restorative break when we need it can end up saving us a lot of time and energy, because it’s preventing us from moving to overwhelm and shut down, which can end up costing us a LOT of time and energy.

Person relaxing with a cozy sweater, striped socks, an open book, and a cup of coffee, symbolizing nervous system regulation and mindful rest.

Understanding Nervous System States with Polyvagal Theory

I’m a big nervous system nerd—especially when it comes to Polyvagal Theory. Learning about it has been life-changing for me and for many of my clients. If you’re not familiar with it yet, I highly recommend checking it out (and I’ll be writing more about it in upcoming posts).

One of the gifts of Polyvagal Theory is that it helps us tune into the different states of our nervous system, what they feel like, and how to navigate between them.

The Ventral Vagal State: Calm, Connected, and Creative

For example, when I sit down to write, I want to feel calm and connected—both to myself and my creativity and to you as a reader. These are qualities of the ventral vagal nervous system state—where we feel safe, present, and socially engaged.

We also may need a little sympathetic energy to help us get things done. This is the part of the nervous system responsible for activation and mobilization—it gives us energy to move toward a goal, take action, or complete a task.

The Sympathetic State: Fight, Flight, and Pushing Through

But here’s where it gets tricky: many of us have parts that operate from chronic sympathetic activation. My “push through” part, for example, often kicks me into a high-energy, get-it-done state. That’s a sympathetic nervous system response—what we often describe as fight or flight.

You might recognize this in yourself too: a rush of energy that keeps you going, but also creates tension, edginess, or even burnout. Over time, that state can leave us feeling exhausted, depleted, or disconnected.

The Dorsal Vagal State: Shut Down and Disconnected

When we override our body’s signals for too long, we may end up in dorsal vagal nervous system state—a state of collapse, withdrawal, or numbness. Suddenly we’re not just tired—we’re done. We shut down, zone out, or feel like we just can’t engage anymore.

Why This Matters: Learning to Notice Nervous System State Shifts

That’s why becoming aware of your nervous system state while you’re working, relating, or moving through your day is so powerful. Tuning into the subtle signals—like tension, frustration, or the urge to quit—helps us take breaks and reset before we go into the dorsal vagal shutdown state.

When we learn to notice and respond early, we can take care of ourselves in a way that prevents that crash. We can walk away from a task feeling grounded and intact, instead of depleted.

It starts with a simple shift: remembering that you’re a human being in a human body, with a nervous system that’s always responding to your environment—even if you’re “just” sitting at a computer or folding laundry.

How to Practice Nervous System Regulation in Daily Life

This practice starts with noticing. Begin to pay attention to your habitual patterns and their effects on your nervous system. Even subtle changes in your routine or pace can shift how your body feels and responds.

Here are a few signs it might be time to take a break. Noticing and pausing at the earliest hints or even precursors to these signs is optimal:

You feel frustrated or edgy
You want to quit the task altogether
You are ignoring basic needs (bathroom, water, food)
Your body feels tense, tight, or wired

Restorative Breaks as Nervous System Medicine

Young woman lying peacefully on a grassy field in sunlight, embodying relaxation, nervous system regulation, and connection to nature.

Not all breaks are equal. Mindless scrolling, eating junk food or having a glass of wine, or zoning out to TV might offer distraction or numbing, but these things usually don’t truly restore us and can actually leave us feeling even worse.

Before choosing how to spend your break, pause and check in with yourself. Ask:
“What do I truly need right now?” You might ask that question to your body or nervous system directly, and then tune in and see what arises.

Do I want:

Stillness vs. movement?
Silence vs. calming music?
A few deep, mindful breaths?
A 10-minute stretch break?
A walk outside?
Cuddles with a pet?
A hot bath?

Even a short, intentional pause can change the way you feel when you return to your task.

Why Nervous System Care is Essential for Highly Sensitive People (HSPs)

If you’re a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), attuning to our nervous system and inner needs is even more important. By definition, HSPs process deeply and can become overstimulated more easily—and take longer to recover. Learning to pause before overwhelm hits is one of the most powerful tools you can develop.

AN INVITATION: What happens if you take one intentional break today—before you think you need it? Try it and notice how your body responds.

Next Steps

If you’re curious to explore more about nervous system health and Polyvagal Theory, stay tuned—more blog posts coming. And click here to read more about Polyvagal Informed Therapy.

And if you’re craving deeper support, reach out. I work with highly sensitive people, deep feelers, and therapists who are ready to go beyond talk therapy and truly care for their whole system. Contact me for a free 15 minute consultation to get started.

Starting (Again) as a Mindful Blogger

A person sitting cross-legged in meditation at sunrise with mountains and a calm sea in the background, symbolizing mindfulness and serenity.

Welcome to my blog’s revival—I intend for it to be a space for authentic, helpful content rooted in my nearly 30 years of experience in the mental health field. Whether you’re a fellow therapist, Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), burnt-out achiever, or an empath seeking personal growth, I hope to share insights that resonate. Like many of you, I’m sensitive to the overwhelming noise of the internet, so my intention is to create content that feels grounding and valuable rather than adding to the clutter.

The word “revival” for this blog may be a stretch, since it was never more than a few randomly inspired posts. This time, I hope to be more consistent. But publicly committing to consistency makes me nervous because I honestly don’t know if I’ll follow through. Between my roles as a mom, psychotherapist, and transformational coach, my time and energy are already stretched thin. Even one post a month would feel like a HUGE success to me.

In this post, I share my personal process with revisiting blogging. Even though I’m a therapist and have done lots of my own inner work, I still sometimes struggle with a lifelong theme of perfectionism, and it definitely showed up for me around this blog! I’ll also share how I worked with my perfectionism with the hope that it can help you too.

The Challenge of Consistency, Overwhelm, and Procrastination

My process began with brainstorming ways to set myself up for success. I knew consistency would be a struggle for me, so for months I considered creating a backlog of posts in advance—but I never sat down to write a word. Then, I fantasized about a solo writing retreat at a cozy beach house: long walks, the soothing sound of waves, and uninterrupted hours to pour out my thoughts. But that never happened either.

A stressed woman sitting at a desk with her head in her hands, surrounded by a laptop, planner, notebook, and phone, symbolizing perfectionism and overwhelm.

Next, I spent an evening making an extensive, categorized list of blog ideas. I scoured the internet for inspiration, questioning whether my themes would be helpful or if I even had anything valuable to say. By the end of the night, I felt completely overwhelmed and ready to give up—exactly the opposite of what I had hoped.

Recognizing My Perfectionism

The next morning, as I reflected on my process, I had a moment of clarity: my old, familiar friend, perfectionism, was here. Once I recognized it, I knew I could do something about it.

A notebook page with the handwritten question 'Am I good enough?' alongside a pencil and pen on a wooden desk.

Despite its name, perfectionism isn’t about being perfect. It’s about the constant feeling that nothing is ever good enough—that no matter how much you do, you could always do more. My perfectionist doesn’t believe I’ll ever be “perfect.” Instead, it keeps me stuck in cycles of overthinking, self-doubt, and inaction.

Perfectionism is almost always linked to the inner critic—that voice inside that questions your worth or tells you you’re not enough. My inner critic was whispering things like:

“Don’t embarrass yourself.”
“Do you really have anything valuable to add?”
“You’re not a good enough writer.”

These voices can be so automatic that we don’t even notice them. That’s exactly what happened to me. My perfectionism had disguised itself as “strategizing,” keeping me spinning in my head instead of taking action.

The Fear Under Perfectionism

When I paused and reflected, I saw the fear underneath my perfectionism. At its core, it wasn’t about doing things perfectly—it was about fear. Fear of being judged or criticized, of falling short, of not living up to the undefined standard I’d created in my mind.

The biggest barrier to me blogging consistently isn’t time management or the demands of being a working mom—although those are very real. It’s the perfectionistic drive to “do a good job” that can paralyze me. This is a cycle I’ve seen in myself and so many others: we strategize and procrastinate endlessly because starting feels vulnerable and risky.

Have you ever noticed perfectionism and fear of not being good enough holding YOU back from starting something new?

Moving Forward In a New Way

But here’s the good news: once we recognize perfectionism running the show, we can do something about it. Awareness is the first step. To truly shift our relationship with perfectionism, we need to better understand it and create a new way of engaging with it.

Understanding Perfectionism and the Inner Critic with Mindfulness and IFS

As a psychotherapist for highly sensitive people, I know that mindfulness and authentic self-compassion are a game changer when it comes to healing and personal growth. If you’re struggling with perfectionism, it’s important to bring curiosity to this process, especially for those of us prone to overthinking and self-criticism.

An artistic representation of the mind with a glowing brain, vibrant energy waves, and colorful orbs, symbolizing inner thought processes and self-awareness.

One of the most effective ways I’ve found to address perfectionism and self-criticism is through Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. IFS is a model of therapy that views us as composed of parts led by a core Self, much like the Pixar movie Inside Out. All parts of us are trying to support the larger system in some way, but sometimes they become locked in extreme roles.

IFS helps us see our perfectionist and inner critic as parts of us, not all of us. Specifically, parts like the perfectionist and inner critic are protectors, trying to shield us from hurt, failure, rejection, or shame. Through IFS, we separate or “unblend” from these parts, recognizing they’re just one aspect of us—not the whole. By getting curious about them and approaching them with compassion, we can create more inner freedom.

This is exactly what I did once I recognized that my perfectionist had snuck in without me knowing it. I actually felt great relief in that recognition. Just recognizing a part has taken over interrupts the old pattern. Once I realized what was happening, I could approach things differently.

Approaching her with curiosity, I saw that she was trying to protect me from feeling foolish or hurt by criticism. Her intentions made sense, and when I met her with understanding and validated her efforts, she relaxed. That transformative moment of self-compassion gave me clarity and inspiration for this blog-revival post.

If you struggle with perfectionism or your inner critic, here are 6 mindfulness-based steps to try:

6 Steps to Quiet Your Inner Critic and Shift Out of Perfectionism

STEP 1: Interrupt the Pattern by Checking in to See if a Part of You is Activated

When you notice you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, give yourself a moment to pause and reflect. These feelings are often indicators that a part is taking over. Tune inside and see what’s present. Listen to your inner dialogue. Are the words critical? Is your inner critic telling you that you’re not good enough?

Sometimes the inner dialogue is loud and clear, and sometimes it’s more quiet and subtle. Be patient and take time to tune in to what your inner parts are communicating. This is a skill that can take time to develop, so if it doesn’t come easily, know that it will strengthen with practice!

Try This:

Pause right now and think of a recent moment when you felt stuck or overwhelmed.

What was your inner dialogue like in that moment? If you don’t remember exactly, just imagine what it likely was.

Write it down to begin recognizing the voices that were present.

STEP 2: Acknowledge the Parts of You that are Present

Take a moment to recognize that this striving or critical part is present and needs attention. What might it feel like to pause and acknowledge your inner critic without judgment? Using “parts language” can help, such as saying, “Oh, my inner critic is here,” or “My perfectionist part is taking over.”

Try This:

Take Take a deep breath and say out loud, “My inner critic is here” or, “Oh, hello perfectionism.”

How does it feel to acknowledge this part of you?

Try naming it or

tuning into what this part might look like.

STEP 3: “Unblend” and Create Space

Once you recognize the part, create some distance from it. Deep breathing can help expand your sense of Self and remind you that this part is just one aspect of who you are, not the whole. Sometimes these parts are so big and so entrenched that it’s hard to do this on your own, but with practice it gets easier.

Try This:

Close your eyes and breathe deeply. Invite the part to feel the calmness of your breath.

Ask the part to give you some space. If it feels right visualize a boundary between you and the part.

Notice how yor body feels as you create this space.

STEP 4: Get Curious

See what you can notice about this part. How does it show up in your body? Ask this part of you: What are its concerns? What are you afraid would happen if you don’t do what you’re doing? Often, these parts are working hard to shield us from pain, rejection, or shame. Keep witnessing it with compassion, as you might a struggling friend.

Try This:

Ask your inner critic: “What are you afraid would happen if you weren’t here protecting me?”

Write down what comes up, even if it surprises you.

STEP 5: Practice Self-Compassion

If it feels possible, see if you can offer appreciation for this part and the ways it’s striving to support you and keep you safe. How might expressing gratitude to your inner critic shift your perspective on its protective role in your life? Ask it what it needs to relax. When these parts feel validated and supported, they often soften and trust the larger Self to take the lead.

Try This:

Place your hand over your heart and thank this part of you for its efforts to protect you.

What words of encouragement or kindness can you offer yourself in this moment?

STEP 6: Take Imperfect Action

Getting into action often takes some negotiation within our own system. Sometimes we need to tend to younger, more vulnerable parts of us who have been hurt. But we can start to move forward with small, bite-sized, doable steps. Honor your courage. And remember that progress (not perfection) is worth celebrating.

Try This:

Think of one small action you’ve been putting off because it doesn’t feel “perfect” or fully ready. It might be sending an email, drafting a paragraph, or trying a new recipe.

Set a timer for 10 minutes and give yourself permission to take the next step imperfectly.

Afterward, take a moment to reflect: How did it feel to take that step, even if it wasn’t perfect?

How might things shift for you if you embraced this approach more often

Moving Forward with Compassion

I’ve been working on this theme for a while! Here I am in a 2014 Brene Brown course on overcoming perfectionism.

For me today, the imperfect action is to share this blog entry, trusting that an imperfect post is better than silence. I invite you to take your own imperfect action—what small step can you take today to feel better in some way? Could it be reaching out to a friend, spending a few minutes journaling, or taking a mindful walk?

As I’ve written this post and prepare to hit “publish,” my perfectionist and inner critic have been very close to the surface every step of the way. They’re still very present, ever ready to step in and protect me from vulnerability. I’ve literally worked though the above steps time and again through this blog-writing process. It’s not always neat and tidy. It can be messy and hard and painful. But it’s worth it!

Lotus flower floating on calm water, symbolizing growth, resilience, and self-compassion.

Because I have taken time to be with my parts in a different way, these parts of me are giving me space to take action because they trust me. I’ve built that trust by consistently showing up for them with curiosity and compassion. By listening to their fears, validating their efforts, and assuring them that I can handle vulnerability, I’ve helped them feel supported enough to step back, trust me, and let me lead. They feel heard and understood. They trust that I’ll take care of myself if someone says something mean or critical and that I’ll forgive myself if I’m not perfect in my consistency.

With each imperfect step forward, I remind myself—and encourage you—to celebrate the courage and progress it represents. Let’s honor each small victory as a meaningful step toward growth. Trusting that this blog, with all its imperfections is enough for now.

Imagine transforming your relationship with your inner critic and perfectionist. What might you accomplish if you were less afraid of messing up or being criticized?

Start Your Therapy Journey

These steps can help you create a more compassionate relationship with yourself and ease the grip of perfectionism. But navigating this journey on your own can feel overwhelming. Old patterns often take over without us realizing it, and an experienced therapist can help you identify and work with these patterns. Support can make all the difference.

If you’re ready to take the next step, book your free 15-minute consultation today and start transforming your relationship with your inner critic. I offer in person and online counseling sessions in Georgia. Contact me at [email protected] to see if we’re a good fit.

Tag: mindfulness

Pushing Through vs. Tuning In: Nervous System Self-Care