Do you ever push yourself to finish something—even when your nervous system is clearly asking for a break?
Nervous system regulation is one of the most powerful tools we have to prevent burnout (not to mention improve our quality of life in general!). Learning to attune to your body’s signals and respond with care is a key part of self-regulation.
That said, learning to attune to the body’s signals doesn’t always come easily—especially when we’ve developed strong habits of overriding them. I have parts of me that are really good at digging in and pushing through—whether it’s writing a blog post, cleaning out my closet, or getting through a tough workout. These parts help us finish things and can bring a sense of accomplishment. In many ways, they serve us well.
My “push through” part has held a lot of power in my internal system for most of my life. And I know I’m not alone—our culture celebrates and reinforces this behavior constantly. We’re praised for productivity, grit, and getting things done.
But at what cost?
Listening to My Nervous System: A New Way to Work and Rest
Recently, I’ve been working on rewiring this dynamic within myself—and it’s feeling really satisfying and empowering. It’s like I’ve discovered a secret no one ever told me: taking a break before I think I need one.
I think this is especially important for perfectionists and high achievers, who tend to push themselves beyond their limits.
In the past, I’d often wait to stop when I was exhausted, frazzled, or overwhelmed before giving myself permission to stop. Now, I’m experimenting with pausing earlier—and I’m finding it subtly life changing. In the long run, I find it preserves both my energy and my time.
For example, I was recently cleaning out my closet—exchanging winter and summer clothes, donating things I no longer wear. It’s a messy, multi-hour process that can feel overstimulating. My “pusher” part wanted to plow through to the end, especially since there were clothes covering my entire bed.
Your nervous system is always communicating. Are you listening?
But because of the intentional work I’ve been doing around nervous system regulation and honoring what feels good (or at least less depleting), I let myself take more breaks—and sooner than my inner taskmaster would usually allow. I still didn’t love the task, but I got through it with less overwhelm.
Taking a break can be counterintuitive, especially to those push-through and just-get-it-done parts. But a short, restorative break when we need it can end up saving us a lot of time and energy, because it’s preventing us from moving to overwhelm and shut down, which can end up costing us a LOT of time and energy.
Understanding Nervous System States with Polyvagal Theory
I’m a big nervous system nerd—especially when it comes to Polyvagal Theory. Learning about it has been life-changing for me and for many of my clients. If you’re not familiar with it yet, I highly recommend checking it out (and I’ll be writing more about it in upcoming posts).
One of the gifts of Polyvagal Theory is that it helps us tune into the different states of our nervous system, what they feel like, and how to navigate between them.
The Ventral Vagal State: Calm, Connected, and Creative
For example, when I sit down to write, I want to feel calm and connected—both to myself and my creativity and to you as a reader. These are qualities of the ventral vagal nervous system state—where we feel safe, present, and socially engaged.
We also may need a little sympathetic energy to help us get things done. This is the part of the nervous system responsible for activation and mobilization—it gives us energy to move toward a goal, take action, or complete a task.
The Sympathetic State: Fight, Flight, and Pushing Through
But here’s where it gets tricky: many of us have parts that operate from chronic sympathetic activation. My “push through” part, for example, often kicks me into a high-energy, get-it-done state. That’s a sympathetic nervous system response—what we often describe as fight or flight.
You might recognize this in yourself too: a rush of energy that keeps you going, but also creates tension, edginess, or even burnout. Over time, that state can leave us feeling exhausted, depleted, or disconnected.
The Dorsal Vagal State: Shut Down and Disconnected
When we override our body’s signals for too long, we may end up in dorsal vagal nervous system state—a state of collapse, withdrawal, or numbness. Suddenly we’re not just tired—we’re done. We shut down, zone out, or feel like we just can’t engage anymore.
Why This Matters: Learning to Notice Nervous System State Shifts
That’s why becoming aware of your nervous system state while you’re working, relating, or moving through your day is so powerful. Tuning into the subtle signals—like tension, frustration, or the urge to quit—helps us take breaks and reset before we go into the dorsal vagal shutdown state.
When we learn to notice and respond early, we can take care of ourselves in a way that prevents that crash. We can walk away from a task feeling grounded and intact, instead of depleted.
It starts with a simple shift: remembering that you’re a human being in a human body, with a nervous system that’s always responding to your environment—even if you’re “just” sitting at a computer or folding laundry.
How to Practice Nervous System Regulation in Daily Life
This practice starts with noticing. Begin to pay attention to your habitual patterns and their effects on your nervous system. Even subtle changes in your routine or pace can shift how your body feels and responds.
Here are a few signs it might be time to take a break. Noticing and pausing at the earliest hints or even precursors to these signs is optimal:
- You feel frustrated or edgy
- You want to quit the task altogether
- You are ignoring basic needs (bathroom, water, food)
- Your body feels tense, tight, or wired
Restorative Breaks as Nervous System Medicine
Not all breaks are equal. Mindless scrolling, eating junk food or having a glass of wine, or zoning out to TV might offer distraction or numbing, but these things usually don’t truly restore us and can actually leave us feeling even worse.
Before choosing how to spend your break, pause and check in with yourself. Ask:
“What do I truly need right now?” You might ask that question to your body or nervous system directly, and then tune in and see what arises.
Do I want:
- Stillness vs. movement?
- Silence vs. calming music?
- A few deep, mindful breaths?
- A 10-minute stretch break?
- A walk outside?
- Cuddles with a pet?
- A hot bath?
Even a short, intentional pause can change the way you feel when you return to your task.
Why Nervous System Care is Essential for Highly Sensitive People (HSPs)
If you’re a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), attuning to our nervous system and inner needs is even more important. By definition, HSPs process deeply and can become overstimulated more easily—and take longer to recover. Learning to pause before overwhelm hits is one of the most powerful tools you can develop.
AN INVITATION: What happens if you take one intentional break today—before you think you need it? Try it and notice how your body responds.
Next Steps
If you’re curious to explore more about nervous system health and Polyvagal Theory, stay tuned—more blog posts coming. And click here to read more about Polyvagal Informed Therapy.
And if you’re craving deeper support, reach out. I work with highly sensitive people, deep feelers, and therapists who are ready to go beyond talk therapy and truly care for their whole system. Contact me for a free 15 minute consultation to get started.